craigslist crazy friday. a bfffffff's find.

this weeks find was discovered by none other than mimi over at living in france. she said something about her uncle wanting to sell some jewelry so she was pricing rings, but secretly i think she was searching for this particular item. because, i mean really, everyone needs one of these.

so here is the posting she sent me. and the emails we sent to each other regarding it. because i don't think i could discuss it any better than these emails did.

happy memorial day peeps!

giveaway shopping commences this weekend!!

also, better go enter the surferwife's giveaway to win AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF HEATHER MCDONALD'S NEW BOOK NOW!!! (yes, that deserved caps, and multiple exclamation points.)

a blogging fairytale.

once upon a time (friday), in a land far far away (the cod), the fairy princess jessalyn was all "i only need 5 more followers to have 100! and then i am going to have a rad giveaway!", but jessalyn thought to herself "don't worry jessalyn, you will have some time before you get to 100, so you can come up with something brilliant and fun and wonderful and not super expensive to give away!!".

then, a magic fairy godmother named surferwife whipped out her sparkly wonderwoman like powers, and used her bracelets to twatter me like 9 new followers in a matter of a few hours. holy moly.

so now the princess must come up with a giveaway. like right stat now.

thank you to surferwife, and all my new awesomepants bffffs.this is craziness to me. i seriously thought i would have one follower forever (is it weird that i follow myself? well, i need to keep tabs on me...it is what it is)

i am currently seeking a giveaway worthy of all my loverlies, hopefully to be posted by the weekend. and then we can all live happily ever after.

just a friday post. leaving the crazy out of it today. but not really, b/c i am still here.

SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT AND I HAVE BEEN SO MIA. GAH. boo work being all worky.

first of all. see that button over there? (well, down a little. below my bfffffs)  ~~~~~~~~>

that duck is for daffy. she is suffering the tremendous loss of her sister today and needs all the prayers in the world. she is an amazing blogger & friend to soooo many. i don't even really have words....

underneath that is a button for monkey. for those of you haven't heard about this yet, a fellow blogger has a beautiful little girl who has been diagnosed with a type of cancer that has a big scary name. they also need prayers and support from wonderful blogland. click here for more details on how you can help.  

on a little happier note, some other amazing bloggers have been showing me some love lately. somehow by the power of greyskull, i won TWO giveaways this week! unbelievable, right? i know.

so first was from salt. i lurve her bigtime. i had big plans of taking a pic of all my radness, but i was too excited to play with it all, and opened it and used it all before i could take pics. i know. i am like a child. but see here for the deets of my radness.

AND i was awesome enough to win hutch at be awesome instead's giveaway of season one of how i met your mother. the barney stinson quote on hutch's blog was what made me start stalking her. but she is so awesome (duh) that i fell in lurve with her after reading all her funnies.

lastly, i have 95 followers now. WHAT?! how is this possible? i feel so lucky to have each and every one of you (because really, i think i am the only one who cares what i have to say), and i hatehate that stupid work has been all stupid and has not allowed me time to visit my bfffffs. BUT, because i love you all, i am so having a giveaway at 100 followers. now, it may take three months to get me there, so bear with me. but when i do get there, it's gonna be good.

major love & hearts, y'all (i am southern today)

craigslist crazies friday. plus me sans makeup. b/c i don't know how else to compete with last weeks crazy.

this is me without makeup. ok i am kidding.

first things first, craigslist crazy. it was really hard to compete with last weeks debacle. so this is what i've got. i know kinda sucky. but it may be the most romantical missed connection like ever.

um yeah. i don't even know.
moving on...

so, the bloggess was where i first saw this feature, but it seems to be all over the place. apparently today is bloggers without makeup day. mummy mayhem actually has a linky thingy for it and it has 136 participants as of right now. so i figured what better way to liven up a boring craigslist crazies friday than to throw in a pic of me with no makeup. luckily, i am pretty lazy, so i have multiple pics of me without makeup- easy peasy. yipee. so here you go:

i am laughing in this one because i think it is hilarious that my roomie from college and i are trying to break into our old dorm. we did get in. but there was nothing to do from there. so it wasn't that fun after all. but this is legit. no picnik. no makeup.

funny enough, my last profile pic was without makeup too. see i told you i am lazy. (yes, this has been picniked.)

also, cher the only girl requested to see my new profile pic in a larger proportion. (more picnik fun)

there. you don't see me too often, unless my head is stuck on a swimsuit models body or something. so now you know what i really look like. in real life. kinda.

wordless...thursday? yeah. thursday.

not a bad place for a lunch time run...

birdy genocide.

birds are dying all around my house and it's freaking me right out.

it all started last week...one day i woke up, and on our front walkway was a dead robin (who i named roxanne). this made me cry. i love robins. and their pretty eggs. major sads depression all day long, wore black to honor roxanne.

(via google images)

THEN. i take the dogs out, and they are sniffing in some tall grass. i didn't really think anything of it at first. then manfriend weed whacked (t'was about time) and i discovered what the dogs had been sniffing. a dead baby bird! a baby. a sweet little baby. (who will now be referred to as willum- not william, willum.) so now i am sobbing some more and convinced the dogs are going to get scurvy because they have been sniffing a dead bird for two days. (i do not really care what causes scurvy. it just sounds like something you would get from sniffing dead animals.)

lastly...the same day as baby willum's discovery, i come across baby dead bird number two (frank). right on my back porch near my slider. WHAT IS GOING ON QUESTIONMARKEXCLAMATIONPOINT!!!! why are all these birds dying at my house!

(via google images)

i am traumatized.

so i dedicate this post to roxanne, willum and frank. may they rest in peace. and be guardian angels over all the other little birds in my yard so i don't find anymore carcasses, because i can not handle it.

craigslist crazies friday. real life edition. it's long, but it's fully crazy.

i am changing today's format a smidgen. typically i find a funny advertisement and we all point and laugh. well. today i am going to tell you about a real life encounter with a craigslist crazy. it made me feel dirty and i needed a shower afterward.

allow me to set the scene:
the bat (aka batmondo, or my boss ladies dad) had a dog who was his whole world. she passed away in her sleep in feb. we have no idea why. so we have been looking for a new doggy for him since then. he is difficult to please (to put it lightly), so we had pretty much given up. but, who can help but scan the pets section of craigslist everyday? so we stumble across a small female great dane who needs a new home. patton is a dane mix, and my coworker has a full bred dane, so we love them around these parts. we needed to at least meet this little girl. so we call the peeps and schedule a meeting.


then the fun began.

they pull up in something like this:

they get out and one by one we are more amazed. the female of the family is short and overweight, in a sweatshirt and jeans, nothing too crazy, but not someone who takes care of herself by any means. then a boy gets out of the car. he is about 8. and has a haircut like this:

then the crème de la crème.

the dad. i can't even explain it, so i drew you a picture. pardon the quality, but i am not an artist.

he kind of looks like a rabbi the way i drew him. but i promise he was not. and i can't promise he was missing teeth. i am just assuming. here is a list of the ridiculousness that ensued while they were here:

• he started off telling us about he was a famous animal trainer. he worked in the circus (surprise, surprise), and was fired. that's right. fired from the circus. it has to be bad when even the circus kicks you out. why was he fired, you ask? i'm glad you asked. he trained a panther for 26 years (do they even live that long?!), and it was in the ring with a rhinoceros...it may have been a hippo, i can't really remember, but rhino sounds better. so anywho, he was training this panther for decades, and the rhino sat on it and crushed it. so he put on his superman cape and rushed into the ring to save his panther. he picked him up and carried him to safety. and he has a tattoo of said panther on his shoulder. but apparently the circus frowns upon rescuing animals from impending death. so they fired him. huh.

• apparently he is such an amazing trainer, and his family has placed so many homeless pets with new homes, the discovery channel and animal planet are both doing stories on him. he is that amazing. so, he informed us that we need to be on that show. "it looks better for all of us if there are a lot of people in the animals new family". i'm sorry, was that a threat?

•  he offers free training for the life of the dog. if she ever needs a "tweak or adjustment", he will come over and do it. for free. are we buying a used car?

• the wife was also fired from her job. she worked at an animal shelter in arizona. she was fired because she couldn't speak spanish. seems odd considering what is going on in arizona right now. i don't really think they care who speaks spanish....

•  they called ripley's believe it or not because they mated this great dane girl with a saint bernard. apparently it is the first time in the history of the world a dane female has mated with a male st. bernard. ever. anywhere. first time.

• the wife was crying the whole time she was here. towards the end of the meeting she ran out the door. we thought it was because she was choked up from having to leave her dog. nono. she was choking on m&ms. 

•  on their way out, he wanted to write down his name for us, and he wanted to make sure he wrote that he was this dogs trainer. he takes his job very seriously. so he starts to write his name. then he looks up at my boss & says "how do you spell trainer?". really?

• lastly, thanks to my coworkers investigative skills, we found the wife's facebook. she has a million pics of her billions of dogs, and in the background of one of the pics: a ginormous pot plant. doesn't she know how to crop a photo?!

 i am probably forgetting stuff, but that is enough for one day. the poor little girl was severely malnourished, and filthy- like she had never had a bath. so we got her a bath, her shots, she is eating regularly, so she is starting to put a little weight back on. her dried up nose is getting juicy again. and the circus loons are never coming back here again. so all is good in the world.

and that, my friends, is what you get from craigslist. 

a giveaway from Suburban Housewife-in-Training...shhh. i want to win so pretend you don't see this.

ok. i want this. so i wasn't going to tell anyone because i want to win. but i get more entries if i post. OH THE INTERNAL STRUGGLE. (i am over using caps. you know this must be big. i never use caps)

so. fine. here it is. but don't enter. and don't tell anyone else. ssshhhhh!


Suburban Housewife-in-Training is giving away diamonds. what's that? you couldn't hear me? FINE. DIAMONDS. real life amazing sparkley diamonds. (AND WE ALL KNOW JESSALYN NEEDS DIAMONS! i mean if i can't have some on my finger, i may as well get some in my ears.)

the radness that is kohl's is sponsoring a giveaway of diamonds. isn't that like the most amazing thing ever? (kohl's, if you are reading this, please come to the cod. thanks.) i lovelovelove kohl's and only get to shop there when i am visiting my friend in CT. sads.

but i would not be sads if i get diamonds.

the end. now look into this magic stick so you forget all of this.

 thank you will smith <3

L to the O to the V to the E. Word.

there has been mucho craziness going on all over the place lately. some super serious (a coworker who is very very sick) to some not so serious (my keurig is not feeling well today so i had to hit dunks. also, i am displeased with all these little green inch worm thingys that are everywhere), but for whatever reason, there has been so much freakin' love. like straight up warm and fuzzy, feel like your heart is exploding out of your chest, love. i tend to use this blog for mostly funny, not too personal stuff. but today, i feel like being mushy. and not like "ew, gag me with a spoon" mushy, just "shiz is pretty rad" mushy.

 

 (image via) i like it because it's water. like cape coddy. ya know?

while it totally sucks to see some of the sadness going on, it reminds me how lucky i am. i have my health. i have some really amazing friends. i love my job and my coworkers. and, despite manfriend still not buying me a gee dee ring, he is still pretty rad & we are happy.

so anywho, i have this thing hanging on my wall at work. i am pretty sure i got it from a forwarded email or something- so i googled it. and it brought me to some man-jokes website. so that's nice. my warm fuzzy lovey poem thing is really just something for dudes to laugh at. i am unsure of the original source, so no one sue me please.

i decided i would post it. as a reminder to myself to not let the inch worms, or my misbehaved keurig to get to me.

I am thankful:
For the wife
Who says it's hot dogs tonight
Because she is home with me
And not out with someone else.

For the husband
Who is on the sofa
Being a couch potato
Because he is home with me
And not out at the bars.

For the teenager
Who is complaining about doing dishes
Because it means she is at home,
Not on the streets.

For the taxes I pay
Because it means
I am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party
Because it means I have
Been surrounded by friends

For the clothes that fit a little too snug
Because it means
I have enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work
Because it means
I am out in the sunshine.

For a lawn that needs mowing,
Windows that need cleaning,
And gutters that need fixing
Because it means I have a home.

For all the complaining
I hear about the government
Because it means
We have freedom of speech.

For the parking spot
I find at the far end of the parking lot
Because it means
I am capable of walking,
And I have been blessed with transportation.

For my huge heating bill
Because it means
I am warm.

For the lady behind me in church
Who sings off key
Because it means I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing
Because it means
I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles
At the end of the day
Because it means I have been
Capable of working.

For the alarm that goes off
In the early morning hours
Because it means
I am alive.

And finally, for too much e-mail
Because it means
I have friend who is thinking of me.

(P.S. Please add: for the blog posts that I sometimes don't know what to say in. Because it means I have blog land bffs who actually read my ramblings, and still love me even though I have been the crappiest blog participator ever.)