craigslist crazies friday. but not really.

i haven't had time to read craigslist, sorry.

i've been busy hanging out with some peeps.

no big deal- just chillin' with surferwife, and then kate, & the only girl.

typical thursday night.

i think saturday we will go hang out with chels. i mean, i know she will be on the cod, so we should probably go see her. i think she would be sads if we didn't have a drink with her.

just your avergage weekend really...

off to find me some 1/2 price cheesecake (it's national cheesecake day, so says the surferwife. she knows everything...)

be prepared.

my blog is about to blow the eff up. i got a super special email today. and i am going to be super famous. like some megan fox famous. minus the hotness & the david silver.

anysuperceleb, scope this shiz, yo: (self. chill with the "super" use, please.thanks.)

my little blog has finally made it folks. i am going to hollywood.

wait. just had a thought. if my blog becomes famous, peeps i know irl will see my blog (that's "in real life", just in case you were unsure. not to be confused with "i regurgitate lobster", because that would just be a huge waste. and that wouldn't even make sense. what are you people thinking?). anywayofftopic, what if people who actually see my face on a daily basis start reading my blog? then what? i'm not certain i can handle fame after all.  i mean, as of right now, the number of people i come across on a daily basis who have read my word vomit is in the single digits. mike promises me 2 million(!!) sites linking to me. people who know me are bound to find me. ok, panic is officially setting in and my palms are sweating just thinking about this.

never mind, mike. i change my mind. i can't handle it after all. unsign me up. but still let me know if your single. (not for me, duh. i have manfriend. but i have a few single friends who need to meet a man who has money. and clearly you do. you are in the inventing business.)

craigslist crazies friday: guest post edition

well, i guess it isn't really a guest post per se, because you are still reading my rambling, but today's listing was found by the lovely foxy and she was kind enough to forward it to me for all my lovelies. so everyone say "thank you, foxy!".

now, if it were me, i would buy this elliptical just because of this person's creativity. i mean, they put some solid work into this posting. a for effort.

or, there is the chance that it was posted by one of those peeps who thinks this is reality. in which case, don't buy from them, foxy. they are crazypants.

i am not even marking this one up, because i wouldn't know where to begin. every sentence is nutso. i wonder if this person has a blog? if so, i think i would like to follow it.

please don't call blog protective services.

dear blog,

i know i have been neglecting you. i am all "wait. what? i have a blog?", but i really do still love you. here's the issue...there is someone else in my life right now. well, to be honest, more than one someone else (i'm a bit of a slut in the summer, what can i say...)

 (via)

have no fear, dear blog, this is just a summer fling, pinky swears. eventually sam summer will no longer be on the shelves, the beautiful beaches will be blanketed with snow, and the pool will be covered. then we will back to sweet blog lovin' on a more regular basis.

i cry real tears for todays children...

this is serious bad news bears...(fingerscrossed)(pleasebeajoke)(fingerscrossed)

i don't even understand what this person wants?

curves like junk in the trunk, or like the place where chicks work out in a circuit? every time i read it, i get more confused.

**EDIT** cher is brilliant. apparently dime curves is a thing. click here if you want some bootay. thank you cher for teaching us today!

craigslist crazies friday: more man panties. what.the.hell.

oh hi, remember me? it's jess, the super suckalicious blogger this week. excuseexcuse, holiday, blahexcuseblah, work, blahexcuseblah, new work kitten, blahblah....busy bee. but i couldn't miss my craigslist post, because really, it is my fave.

i ventured off cape today because peeps just aren't acting up too much out here on the cod....it's long, so i underlined the important parts....click to make it bigger- if you dare.

also, this is my new boss at work.

craigslist crazies friday: thank god i'm not single.

so i know we all love graphs and charts...as amanda has proven many times...

while i didn't have one specific crazy for this week, as i was searching i noticed a common theme. as you will see below, it doesn't seem like the playing field is really very even...thank god i have a hot cop manfriend or i would be sads.










(really?? mesh underwear?? what female is this going to attract??)

(i blurred some of the faces...they don't really look all black splotchy faced)

doesn't seem fair, does it?

poor single girls on the cod are screwed.

there are no words....

i have followed megan's blog since before she was pregnant...while i don't know her, i have had her on my mind and in my prayers for quite some time now....a blogging day of silence for cohen, megan, brent, and all the rest of their family and friends...click the picture to read cohen's story.